Here it is -- I still can't get used to it. Imagine this picture with ten feet of trees above every piece of that back fence, obscuring the view of any other house. No one could see me from my porch.

Normally, at 4:00 in the afternoon the entire lawn would be in shadow. This is what I get to look at now.

Shocking.

I finally had the time to get my pics together from LA and Trinoc*Con -- I'll post more of them later (or, more likely, Seamus will).

But I had to share this one -- I had been at the convention for maybe half an hour.

I swear, it's getting to where you can't take me anywhere...without having to call 9-1-1.

I think I've had more comments and emails than I've ever had for any other post before -- thank you all so much for the tremendous support. I can't say how muh I appreciate all your advice and input and love. It was sorely needed.

I had no idea how physically ill the removal of a bunch of scrubby trees would make me...it's nice that I haven't had to do it alone.

I've closed all the curtains and blocked out all the windows to the back of the house -- I'm slowly weaning myself into getting used to the idea that I once lived in a forest...and now I live in a desert. I expect my electric bill will go up quite a bit now that the late afternoon sun is unimpeded -- and I suspect that some of the less-hearty plants that were once protected will now die.

Not that they wouldn't have died in the 101 degree heat anyway. :)

I'm trying to think and plan and come up with new ideas...I'm trying to see this as an opportunity instead of a tragedy...I'm trying not to decide to give up and sell my house and move to a different country. And I wish I had the money and the resources to fix it all and do it yesterday -- but this is one of those times when the superhero guise fails and I realize that I am just one woman against the world.

Good thing THAT doesn't happen very often. :)

::::hugs:::

Love,
Lee

I got back from LA at 2am. I had told my boss I was going to sleep and come in late this morning. So I was making breakfast, when I looked out my kitchen window...and just about passed out.

While I was gone, sometime over the last 5 days, the Electric company cut down all the trees behind my back fence. And I don't mean trimmed...I mean GONE. RAZED. To the ground. My private backyard -- the thing I have always loved best about my house (and pretty much the reason I bought it), looks like crap. Now, instead of leaves, all I see are houses. I can see everyone's house. I can even see people's houses on the opposite side of the street behind my house.

I hate it. And I hate that I hate it. My backyard was my escape from the world. And now the world has come crashing in. I'm devastated.

I cried all morning. (I'm still weepy.) I called the electric company, and they actually sent some guys out and we had a nice conversation (everybody in TN is nice). Not like it will change anything...it's their property and the trees aren't going to magically come back...but I just wanted to talk to someone. I even cried in front of them. I'm still in shock. It's just...oh my god. Those of you who have seen it wouldn't recognize it. I have no idea what to do. I came to work because I couldn't stop crying.

You know, when you make a life full of little things that make you happy, those little things become more vital than you think they do.

LA was beautiful -- at least, Redondo and Hermosa Beach were. I had a great time, even if was only 24-hours and I threw up on the plane and had a migraine the whole time. 73 degrees with a breeze, and I got to see the sun set over the Pacific Ocean. I can't believe I'll be back there in 10 days for WotF. Thank god this time it will be for longer...and it will be a direct flight both ways.

But that's later. Right now I'm just tired, and sad. And sick.
I miss my trees.